You ski uphill.
You speed walk in your sleep.

What if General Motors had to maintain a “help line” for people who didn’t know how to operate their new cars?

Your home is more mobile than any of the trucks or cars in your front yard.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Bill and his wife, Sherry, get along just great, except that Bill complains Sherry is a “backseat driver” second to none.

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared.

My forgetter’s getting better
but my rememberer is broke.

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as priests. What’ll it be?”