A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license.

Bob had been shopping downtown all day with his wife and four little children. They were all so tired, he decided to take a taxicab home.

A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago, biting his fingernails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?”

The military commander had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from the enemy. So, he summoned a corporal. “I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of a military activity.”

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

Middle age is when you go to the doctor and you realize you know have to pay someone to look at you naked.

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory.