One day the sun was shinning brightly and the optimist said, “Great day, eh?”

It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.

An 80-year-old man goes to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor tells him, “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”

–My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97 and we don’t know where she is.

You ski uphill.
You speed walk in your sleep.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

My forgetter’s getting better
but my rememberer is broke.

The census taker knocked on Donna’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age.