Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross a mid-western state such as Wisconsin, Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwest, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the state.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.

Many many years ago
when I was twenty-three,

If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:

IN GENERAL

Never take a beer to a job interview.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Little Rock to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.

You think barbecue is a verb meaning, “to cook outside.”
You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!

A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car stalled. He got out and raised the hood.