An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.

To: All Employees
Re: Casual Day

They Say: Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties.
They Mean: We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

From a U.S. Government Worker

A magazine ran a “Dilbert Quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some submissions:

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.

Morris had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation.