Archive for Older Jokes
Directions
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.
Middle Age…
Middle age is when you go to the doctor and you realize you know have to pay someone to look at you naked.
School Troubles
When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.
That’s Disgusting
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
A Quickie
Newly graduated from the seminary, the young, naive priest was given an assignment in a far rural parish.
God Be With You
Little 2 1/2-year-old Kelli went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. To demonstrate the process, the pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the “Host” (in this case, a piece of bread) he says: “God be with you.”
Kidnapped
Winthrop found the following ransom note slipped under his front door: “if you ever want to see your wife alive again, bring $50,000 to the 17th green at your country club tomorrow at 10:00am.”
Tightly Packed
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was obviously delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
Engine Trouble
Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”
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