New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

A former friend of mine was married to a great gal. Unfortunately, he had to put up with his wife’s mother who was a very cranky and spiteful person. In the morning

One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, “Don’t forget to use wooden spoons.”

An old couple was sitting around one evening and he says to his wife, “Sarah, we are about to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, so tell me, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.

This was told to us as a true story, but it may be just a really funny urban legend.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,

Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one’s enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

From Richard Lederer, author of Anguished English

Certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States.

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house.