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Daffynitions

Every year the Washington Post conducts a contest in which readers are asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and supply a new definition. Here are some of this year’s winners:

{intaxication}: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

{reintarnation}: coming back to life as a hillbilly.

{bozone (n.)): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

{cashtration (n.)}: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

{giraffiti}: vandalism spray-painted very, very, high.

{sarchasm}: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

{hipatitis}: terminal coolness.

{osteopornosis}: a degenerate disease.

{karmageddon}: it’s like, when everybody is, like, sending off all these really bad vibes.

{glibido}: all talk and no action.

{dopeler effect}: meteorologists take note – the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you from a computer.

{beelzebug} (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 a.m. and cannot be cast out, even by an exorcit.

{caterpallor} (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the apple you’re eating.

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