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Animal Jokes

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It’s a Crime

A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets. After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.

4,880 views

The Doggy Dictionary

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

6,120 views

The Religious Horse

A man bought a horse from a farmer. “This is an unusual horse, the farmer said. “He’s very religious. You say ‘Hallelujah’ to make him go and “Amen” to him stop”.

5,703 views

The Baby Camel

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?”

5,443 views

Don’t be Deceived

The ad in the local newspaper read: “Purebred Police Dog $25.”

5,367 views

Alley Oop!

A champion rider is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do […]

4,869 views

Help Wanted

A local business looking for office help put a sign in the window saying: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

5,865 views

A Musical Monkey

A Guy goes into a bar with his pet monkey and says, “I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this monkey can’t play–and play well.”

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