Life Jokes

2,481 views

Battery

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son.

2,558 views

Good & Evil

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest.

2,035 views

Translation Please

In California’s Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like “well-aged Caumeneur.”

2,368 views

Weighing In

A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.

3,551 views

Things You Don’t Want To Hear At A Tattoo Parlor

“There are 2 O’s in Bob, right?” “We’re all out of red, so I used pink.”

2,382 views

The Modern Toolbox

Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one’s enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

3,331 views

A Friend for Supper

“Honey,” said a husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

2,440 views

Contacting the Departed

A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother.

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