- A few clowns short of a circus
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal
- An experiment in artificial stupidity
- A few cans short of a six-pack
- Dumber than a box of hair
- A few peas short of a casserole
- Doesn’t have all his Cornflakes in one box
- The wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead
- One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl
- One taco short of a combo plate
- A few feathers short of a whole duck
- All fizz, no pop
- The cheese slid off the cracker
- Body by Fisher – Brains by Mattel
- Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
- Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
- Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
- He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
- An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
- As smart as bait
- Chimney’s clogged
- Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
- Doesn’t know much but leads the league in nostril hair
- Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor
- Forgot to pay his brain bill
- Her sewing machine’s out of thread
- His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels
- His belt doesn’t go through all the loops
- If he had another brain it would be lonely
- Missing a few buttons on his remote control
- No grain in the silo
- A loveseat short of a living room suite
- Receiver is off the hook
- Several nuts short of a full pouch
- Skylight leaks a little
- Slinky’s kinked
- Too much yardage between the goal posts
- Surfs in Nebraska
- Too dumb to serve in Congress
Kinder, Gentler Ways to Question Someone’s Intelligence
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