Life Science

These comments come from “actual” test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by elementary thru college students and compiled at the NEA Life Sciences Symposium, Kansas. Please note that the original spelling has been left intact.

1. “The body consists of three parts — the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five — a, e, i, o, and u.”
2. “To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.”
3. “Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”
4. “Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.”
5. “Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.”
6. “Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”
7. “Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.”
8. “To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.”