Joke of the Day
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
Fred was applying for a job as a flagman/switch operator on the railroad. The chief engineer was conducting the interview.
Do I really look like a people person?
Barbara Walters had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands.
A group of elementary school students were on a field trip to the local police station. Several of the children were fascinated by the wanted posters on the wall.
A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago, biting his fingernails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?”
There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was plagued by local kids who would sneak into his patch at night and steal watermelons.
A city slicker came upon two country folk balancing a long piece of lumber vertically on the ground, while a third fellow with a measuring tape climbed up on the lumber.
The military commander had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from the enemy. So, he summoned a corporal. “I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of a military activity.”