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Joke of the Day

Won’t Talk

A lady goes into a pet store one day. “I’m really lonely,” she says to the clerk. “I need a pet to keep me company.”

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Archive for Older Jokes

22,384 views

Directions

A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

16,101 views

Middle Age…

Middle age is when you go to the doctor and you realize you know have to pay someone to look at you naked.

19,327 views

School Troubles

When I arrived for my daughter’s parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling me that my little girl didn’t always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty.

18,705 views

That’s Disgusting

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read “Unique Breakfast” so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.

19,285 views

A Quickie

Newly graduated from the seminary, the young, naive priest was given an assignment in a far rural parish.

15,752 views

God Be With You

Little 2 1/2-year-old Kelli went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. To demonstrate the process, the pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the “Host” (in this case, a piece of bread) he says: “God be with you.”

8,843 views

Kidnapped

Winthrop found the following ransom note slipped under his front door: “if you ever want to see your wife alive again, bring $50,000 to the 17th green at your country club tomorrow at 10:00am.”

14,708 views

Tightly Packed

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was obviously delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.

23,132 views

Engine Trouble

Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

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