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Proposed Alcohol Warning Labels

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring stories over and over.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 a.m.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your pants.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and knees.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion tthat you are tougher, more handsome and smarter than some really, really big mean guy named Chuck.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause a tear in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.

WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

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