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Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You

(George Burns)

When you like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.

When your only party of the last year was to celebrate the twelfth rerun of your seven-year itch.

When the parts that have arthritis are the parts where you feel best.

When your favorite section of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today”.

When a big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills.

When your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.

When your clothes go into the overnight bag so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.

When you resent the annual swimsuit issue of “Sports Illustrated” because there are fewer articles to read.

When your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.

When somebody you consider an old-timer calls you an old-timer.

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