Signs Your Presidential Candidate is Under-Qualified
Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.
- Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen’s character on “The West Wing.”
- His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is “That Bob Vila guy.”
- Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.
- Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut.
- Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, “The state or the DC thingie?”
- At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, “You wanna wrestle?!?”
- Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.
- Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, “I win!”
- On the very first question of the debate, he says, “Regis, I want to use a LIFELINE.”
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