The Benefits of Growing Older (and you thought there weren’t any)
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run into a burning building.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You can buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You can eat dinner at 4:00.
- You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- You can constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- You got cable for the weather channel.
- You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- You give lots of money to charities.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You have an age advantage whenever you need it.
- Your Congressman pays attention to you.
- You are not expected to keep up with technology or understand it.
- You get travel and entertainment discounts.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
- You can dance to the oldest music and no one laughs at you.
- People come to you for help with their antique cars.
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
Thanks, Anita in L.A.
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