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The Cynic’s Creed

You cannot make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

It takes years to build up trust and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big bank account or important friends.

You shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more messed up than you think.

We are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

Money is a great substitute for character.

Sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones who do.

Your family won’t always be there for you, of course, if you win the lottery, the hag, the philanderer, the screw-up and the missing one will be “there for you.”

We don’t have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

Overzealous customs agents can change your life in a matter of hours.

The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. All the less important ones just never go away.

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