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The New Windows

To: Consumas Outside the Garden State

It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies of the Windows XP-New Joisey Edition may have been shipped outsida Joisey. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help unnerstanin da commands.

Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin’ screen. It reads; “Windas XP” wit a background pitcha of Hoboken. When yous start da program, instead of da usual harpy stringy like music, you hear a little Springsteen. It’s also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Changes in Terminology in da Joisey Edition:

  • OK………Sure ting
  • Cancel…..Fugetaboutit
  • Reset……Start ova
  • Yes……..Yeah
  • No………Nah
  • Find…….Put a contract out on
  • Browse…..Get a looksee
  • Back…….U-Toin
  • Help…….Get your own ansa
  • Stop…….Knock it off
  • Start……Move it
  • Settings…Here’s da rules

Please Also Note:

  • Recycle bin is labeled “Newark”
  • My computer is called “My Computa”
  • The Inbox is referred to as “Da Trunk”
  • Deleted items are referred to as “Wacked”, “Erased”, or “Rubbed Out”
  • Control Panel is known as “The Bosses”
  • Performing an “illegal operation” is Known as “enhancin da family business” and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin’ it down.
  • Hard Drive is referred to as “Da turnpike on da way to da shore”
  • Instead of an error message a “You ain’t gonna believe dis” pops up

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a copy of the JOISEY EDITION (NOT). You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WIT DAT?

(By da way, spellcheck is a nightmare wit da JOISEY edition dey still haven’t worked out all da bugs)

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