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You know you live in Florida when

A friend in Florida sent this to us to show it will take more than a few hurricanes to destroy their sense of humor

  • You have FEMA’s number on your speed dialer.
  • You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.
  • Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
  • You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
  • When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.
  • You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
  • You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
  • The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
  • You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
  • You own more than three large coolers.
  • You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
  • You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking “It’ll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back.”
  • You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.
  • Three months ago you couldn’t hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
  • You catch a 13-pound redfish in your driveway.
  • You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner’s insurance policy.
  • At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.
  • You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
  • There is a roll of felt (tar paper) in your garage.
  • You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work for the Weather Channel.
  • Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
  • Ice is a valid topic of conversation.
  • Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.
  • You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.
  • You’ve been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or tree worker.
  • A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
  • You don’t worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
  • Your child’s first words are “hunker down.”
  • Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it’s Christmas.
  • You know the difference between the “good side” of a storm and the “bad side.”
  • Your kids start school in August and finish in July.
  • You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

Thanks, Fran in Destin

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