The Theory of Cat Behavior
LAW OF CAT INERTIA - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food.
LAW OF CAT MOTION - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
FIRST LAW OF CAT ENERGY CONSERVATION - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
LAW OF BAG/BOX OCCUPANCY - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
LAW OF FURNITURE REPLACEMENT - A cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
LAW OF CAT COMPOSITION - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-matter + It Doesn’t Matter.
LAW OF CAT OBEDIENCE - As yet undiscovered.